To My Fellow Control Freaks: Stop Bottling the Flow

So, I’m a little bit of a control freak. From my ‘mild’ opposition to group projects to my obsessive need to have detailed long term plans, I’m just comfortable being independently in control of my own outcomes. I can guarantee that many of you reading this are nodding your heads in agreement.I used to think that I knew exactly what I needed and exactly when I needed it, so much to the extent that I would reject any change that didn’t come with a 2 week notice.

I’ll use an umbrella theory to say that I feel as though there is something greater than I am that plays a hand in what comes my way. I personally like to see it as some complex form of karma, but it might be easier described as some odd reshuffling of my social wardrobe. I’ve miraculously been able to part with “clothes” that I couldn’t see myself living without, and in the process, my changing style has welcomed “pieces” that I never saw myself being drawn to.

Soo this might not be the best metaphor because it eludes to the fact that maybe I’m just an impulse shopper (which I definitely am) but what I’m getting at is that these changes have come very suddenly, at times when I felt like I really didn’t want them nor could I handle them. I now realize how wrong I was.

People. To break it down, people who have been around forever have left my immediate life in the blink of an eye. But far more importantly, people have appeared out of nowhere and made an overwhelmingly positive and lasting imprint on my character. All it really took was the courage for me to let them. It happened throughout the year, and it’s currently happening again which just made me put things into perspective. None of the situations were ideal or simple in the slightest, and it’s easy to resent them happening because they sometimes feel like challenges over opportunities. However, they’ve taught me a few things:

  1. Things happen when I need them to, whether I think I do or not. Fighting and avoiding will both exhaust me and deprive me of opportunities for something great.
  2. The length of time you spend with someone has no bearing on the impact they have on your life. The immediate connection you share with a stranger can be just as amazing as the comfort of a long lasting friendship.
  3. Going with the flow isn’t losing control or giving up. Going with the flow is being prepared to capitalize on the spontaneities of life.

I spent enough time being frustrated by not being able to take a situation and mould it into one that I think works for me. To my fellow control freaks out there, embrace the things you couldn’t anticipate. Take it from the guy who recently stopped trying to bottle the flow, but closed his eyes and jumped right in. Make no mistake, I think I love where the flow is headed.


Chadd xx

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